Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
