i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
