i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
