We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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