Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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