dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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