paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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