i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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