she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
