Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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