the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
