we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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