you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My vagina is officially offended.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
