Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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