i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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