Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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