I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
