so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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