if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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