I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
