11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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