Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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