he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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