The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
