is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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