I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
