this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
