i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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