Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
