We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
