I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
