I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is it penis luge time yet?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
