I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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