If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
