I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
