I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
