I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
