I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
