I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My dick has a subreddit
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
