We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
