It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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