I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
