When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
