im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
