I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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