So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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