Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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