I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
