we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
