why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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