The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
