you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
they need to just BURY HIM!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
