Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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